When Did It Start

When Did It Start

When did it all start? *sighs* That is not something I can say. One night, across my line of vision, he was just there. His essence called to me. His smile, his look, the way he spoke my name, called to me. Perhaps, like Paul Sawyer and my unusual friendship with him, it was the same. *shaking my head* Non, not really the same as I do not find myself sexual attracted to Paul. We have a bond built from a single goal reached months ago. Trent on the other hand, and I do not. It wasn’t forged over a need to find the man responsible for hurting a loved one, or physically having to heal one of mine. It is more than that. The time has come for me to make myself think about what it is. Force myself to comes to terms with my feelings for Trent. The time is drawing near that we will no longer be happy with our passion in mere dreams or astro-projected visits. I have tasted his blood… *head back, eyes closed at the memory and taste of it on my tongue. the fire that filled my veins as his blood coursed from him into me… sighs. focusing once again* I can explain my reaction to the taste of Trent’s blood but it is not a pretty tale nor will it make me out a heroine. In fact, you may look differently upon me after you read it but, it is what makes up the vampire you see today. So if you feel you want to know more, continue reading….

Centuries ago, while hunting with Santiago in the woods, a terrible mis-justice was done to one of Trent and Paul’s kind. At the time, in Europe, were-wolves were the stuff of legends.. or so we thought, until that fateful night. Santiago and I killed a man, a were-wolf, in a blood lust that was beyond comparison to anything we had ever felt and remains the same to this day. This man was twice as strong as any ‘normal’ human, only raising Santiago’s ire and challenging him further until the blood flowed like a crimson river across the leaves that lay on the ground. Unable to withstand the scent I too joined in the merciless killing. It wasn’t until the body lay mangled and torn apart that we both realized what this being was. *stopping now to calm myself from the memory* His body laid in an unusual angle but it was more the look of him past the torn flesh that caused Santiago and I too panic. This man.. this unusally strong being laid at our feet half man, half wolf. In the fight for his survival he had tried to shift to save his life. Against two hungry, blood crazed vampires, it did him no good. We had killed him, together. 

Now, centuries later I find that I am friends.. non, family to just such beings. They accept me into their lives, their homes and their own families without fear of the vampire or the jaguar that make up my existence. Would they still if they knew what I had done? Yes Santiago was there but he has a life in Europe still while I reside in the United States and mix with the same beings that I once killed in a night that changed my existence forever. 

Of course, this is not what attracks me to Trent or allows my friendship with Paul to flouish. Non, this is something very different from then. It is time, as I said, for me to force the true reason up from my consciencesness and examine it in detail. What happened then remains a regret that I carry in the back of my mind when I visit with Paul and Isabella but it does not keep me from my desire and longing to touch and be with Trent. 

*standing up and closing the computer for now I move about the room..restless, feeling her call and rise to the surface… Gia… calling me to go out into the night… whispering Trents name* … Oui, it is time. 

 

Posted via email from His Bella Celeste