A simple comment brought to my mind memories of my existence as a vampire. Where would I begin to tell you of a life, my life, that I barely know of anymore?
How it has all come to this moment, this one ‘grain of sand in my existence? That is how I look to my Immortality now.
Every event that happens, every moment is that tiny grain of sand that falls from the top of the hourglass to the bottom. Turned over one day when you least expect it, your humanity is gone and you become someone you don’t recognize. You might wake up in your life; go about your business only to find by nightfall the Fates have decided to pick you to be a harbinger of death. But first, it’s you who has to die. That in and of itself, is something you wish not to remember, but you do. The pain, terror and then realization that something so horrible has gotten you in their grip, taking from you all that you are and every drop of blood that makes your heart beat, your brain function and your life exist. You feel yourself slipping away and in the words of others, ‘my life flashed before my eyes’ is something you now know is not true. There is no time to recall your childhood, your parents. The loves you’ve shared or children you bore. And as it all is pulled from you by force . . .
One grain of sand now falls in the hourglass that is to become your existence, your death.
You have now become the harbinger of death that took from you your life and made you one of them. You struggle to survive, not understanding who you are or why you even are. At least that is how it was for me.
I have heard stories of different turnings, but mine? Well, mine was not the sweet, arousing and loving gift some have received. Mine was of rage, hatred and a creature vile enough to take from me the two things that mattered most in my soul, though I would not find this out until centuries later.
But, I digress.
Another grain of sand does fall . . .
By now what I once was is gone and all that is left in its place is a creature of rage and revenge. Like my maker before me, whoever that was, all the evil rage seemed to have transferred itself to me and I became relentless in my quest for revenge. But first, I had to survive.
I knew nothing of what I needed or where to go. Were their others like me? Of course there had to be or I wouldn’t exist. Were they all like him? Yes, I remember in those first days my maker being male. Yet none of that seemed to matter as I raged to survive and make some sense as to what was expected of me. That is when I found them. The traveling group of creatures like me who seemed more settled in their own shells and nothing compared to the uncontrollable shell I was in.
I went with them, they showed me how to survive though I fought against it at first, realizing then that there had to be some piece of me still left deep, deep inside. Still in Paris we traveled until coming to an old abandoned Theatre. Inside we would find what most of our kind back then needed.
A Coven Master.
. . . and thus
Another grain of sand does fall . . .
I shook myself out of my immortal reverie long enough to look at those now around me and realized I was no longer back there; still knowing that at another time my memories would take me back to those nights...
Those long nights of my early vampire existence.
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